Makin' Up For Lost Time and Because Mike Asked...

So here's some random thoughts about random topics:

1. Don't ask me how I know this, but you shouldn't put formaldahyde in an open wound. Trust me on this one.

2. Although I guess if you were looking for an alternative to waterboarding, formaldahyde in an open wound would do just fine, thank you.

3. Smaller butts are easier to wipe. Trust me on this one too.

4. Have you EVER had to use the Pythagorean Theorem once you left high school math? Yeah, me neither.

5. Or that one formula that went something like, -b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus 4ac all over 2a. I have absolutely no idea why I still remember that formula. Probably because in order to remember it in high school, I set it to the tune of the chorus of Sister Christian by Night Ranger (you know, the part that starts, "You're motorin....")

6. Take that #17!

7. Despite the fact that I remember this formula, I have no idea what the hell to use it for. I'm pretty sure I'll survive nonetheless.

8. Speaking of Night Ranger...I think there should be a rule at Mega-80's that if you weren't around when the song first came out, you can't come in. There are plenty of other bars in Grand Rapids where your giggly, young, teehee'in ass is welcome. Find it and visit.

9. I reread some of my first blogs today. I was much funnier when I was fatter. Oh well. Deal. I ain't goin' back.


11. I had a great time hanging with old friends over the past few weeks. 17, you rock at getting the homies together for fun. Thank you for including me!

12. I am SO SICK of hearing about health care reform, and the dogs on the Obama administration. Let the guy run the country. Really, can he do any worse than any of his predecessors? It's not like there's President School...it's a learn as you go job.

13. I really really really really really really miss cheeseburgers. And pop.

14. And silly string. Really, there just aren't enough silly string fights among adults these days. When did we forget to have fun???

15. Anybody know when the drive-in opens? Anybody wanna go when it does?

16. Formeldahyde in an open wound...still hurts a half an hour later.

17. The other day, I met a bear. Out in the woods. A way up there.

18. Random, yes, but I'm scrapin' the bottom of the thought barrel here people.

19. I finally cleaned my car out tonight. I found trash from two months ago. When did I become one of those people?b

20. I also found 3 first aid kits in my trunk, so bring on the booboos!

21. When you type it without the -, it looks like there's the word boobs in there. That's funny.

22. I miss Spring Break. It's not like I ever went anywhere...I just miss knowing there's a week off in my future.

23. Whilst out for my afternoon nap today, I noticed I had two flat tires. Really? Two flat tires??? How is that even statistically possible?

24. Wait a minute...that formula in #5...that wasn't how to figure the statistical chances of you having two flat tires, is it?

25. Those flats cost me $400 in new wheels. So now I have shiny new wheels on a dull old car.

Happy Hump Day everyone!